Old Lady & the pharmacist

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking..
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. 'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.

Feeling Old?

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today.
The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.

• They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
• Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
• The CD was introduced two years before they were born.
• They have always had an answering machine.
• They have always had cable
• .Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
• Popcorn has always been microwaved.
• They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
• They don't know who Mork was or where he was from
• They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.
• McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
• They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth.It's the only planet with chocolate.
The best of email forward continued....