Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tips on staying young

1. Remember, there is no way you can look as bad as that person on your drivers license.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music,
plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

10. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Little Blue River, Fairbury Ne

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Little Blue River, Fairbury, Ne

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Saturday, June 12, 2010

A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead

of the television.. ~Author Unknown

Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just
a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because
Grandfathers have only so many horsy rides in them. ~Gene Perret

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just
you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree

Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown

Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them,
I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should
advise every one of you straight away to become one.
There is no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith

It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the
world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown

Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip

You do not really understand something unless you can explain
it to your grandmother. ~Proverb

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.
Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents.
You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long
periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida ~Dave Barry

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret

Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple
Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Senior Center

HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER


It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. 'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.' He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch...'

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

'SHIT!' said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.

Did I read that sign right?

DID I READ THAT SIGN RIGHT?


On Restroom Door:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a Memphis department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN



In an office:
AFTER COFFEE BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE COFFEE POT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Thoughts

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Memorize your favorite poem.

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or loaf all you want.

4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name-calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives, or by the life they were born into

12. Teach yourself to speak slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

14. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15. Call your mother.

16. Say, "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

18. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions.

19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it

21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

22. Marry a person you love to talk to. As you get older, his/her conversational skills will be even more important.

23. Spend some time alone.

24. Open your arms to change but don't let go of your values.

25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

26. Read more books. Television is no substitute.

27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

28. Trust in God but lock your car.

29. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home.

30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

31. Don't just listen to what someone is saying. Listen to why they are saying it.

32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

33. Be gentle with the earth.

34. Pray or meditate. There's immeasurable power in it.

35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

36. Mind your own business.

37. Don't trust anyone who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.

38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. It is wealth's greatest satisfaction.

40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

41. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

42. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

44. Live with the knowledge that your character is your destiny.

45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

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